A Day in the Life of Pretty Baby, My Friend Tony’s Porsche

I am Pretty Baby, Tony’s Porsche.  You may look at my home (a cluttered suburban garage) and make the mistake of thinking that I am not cared for in a manner becoming one of the world’s most elegant, envied, and high performance vehicles.  Well, if you think that, you are very, very wrong.  Follow along with me as I show you what one of my typical days is like…
Breakfast in Bed

Every morning I am gently awakened by Annie, Tony’s lovely wife.  She brings me my newspaper and morning coffee.  Ahhhh, sweet coffee.  To quote the French statesman Talleyrand (1754-1838), “Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love.”  I feel almost human again.  Thank you Annie, it is you who are the angel…

Sponge Bath

As ladies everywhere know, there is nothing better than starting off the day with a little fresher upper.  After brekkies, young Matthew arrives to give me my sponge bath.  He is an enthusiastic and chipper young fellow, who always looks so terribly modern in his colorful hats.  He only uses Meguilar’s The Gold Class Car Wash Shampoo and Conditioner (that my Tony buys especially for me) on my delicate exterior.  Wax on, wax off young Matthew, and mind the tender bits!

Mid Morning TV Time

Now for some R and R.  Please, no interruptions while I am watching my stories.

Afternoon Tea and Crumpets

As the day gets on, I begin to feel a bit peckish, which is Trevor’s cue to suit up.  A young man in a suit jacket is surely one of the most charming things on Earth.  Such a darling boy!  He delivers my afternoon tea with unfailing grace of body and spirit, his tea towel at the ready in case of spills.

NASCAR!

It may seem a bit unrefined, but have you checked out the bumpers on those bad boys!  Come to mama…

Nighty Night Cocoa and Jammies Time

At the end of another long and completely satisfying day, Darby, the lovely young lady of the house, arrives with my nightly cup of cocoa.  Made with real milk and imported Swiss chocolate, it has exactly 3 mini marshmallows bobbing in a sea of sweet, frothy foam.  After that I crawl into my jammies and it is off to dreamland.

…Tony and I are cruising north along Highway 1 through Big Sur, on our way up to Sonoma for a long weekend of wine tasting, the tangy ocean breeze caressing my grill, ruffling his hair…