Brad and Angie, If You Only Met Me You Would Want to Be My Friend

Hi Brad and Angie,

You don’t know me , but I feel like we have A LOT in common, and if you only could have the chance to meet me you would TOTALLY want to be my friend.  I realize this is coming at you out of the blue, you’ve never heard of me or even anyone who knows me.  Anyway, I put together this AWESOME list of the things we have in common, in the hopes that one of your minions will read it and relay to both of you (and the kids, of course), the wonderful news that I am ready to be your friend.

1.  You make movies, I go to them.  Not often, and mostly these days I see kids’ movies, but I just happened to catch that Mr. and Mrs. Smith thing you did, which makes me feel like I was totally THERE when, you know, you kind of lit each others’ fires.

2.  Brad grew up in the Midwest, I grew up in the Midwest.  We could chat about cold winters, tornadoes, winter wheat.  We could head to Farm and Fleet to get new blue jeans and a seed cap.  And don’t forget the bag balm, cuz nothing works better on chapped hands than bag balm.  Am I right Brad?  You know I am!

3.  You have a house in France, I have a friend who is ACTUALLY French and lives in France.  Her name is Sylvie, and we would love to visit her and her family.  We haven’t been since we had the kids.  So I was thinking that maybe, after we are friends, the next time you head to France on your private jet that our family could hitch a ride.  The kids are pretty small still, and wouldn’t take up much room.  And I can make them work during the flight, like passing out the peanuts to your kids.

4.  You do that United Nations Ambassador thing, I live in a nation with United in its name.  And, like I mentioned in #3, I have friends in other countries.  There are my French friends, and I’ve also got other friends in England, Germany, Japan, and Canada.  I know the Canadians don’t really count, since they are basically just another state, but maybe I could get half a point for them?

5.  I’m a parent, you are parents.  I’ve got two biological children, and though I have never adopted a human, I have adopted 4 cats.

So…that’s all I’ve got.  Give it some thought, no need to rush.  Though if we are going to squeeze in a last minute summer European vacation together, I will need to let Sylvie and Jean Marie know our schedule.  And I ABSOLUTELY understand if you feel like you aren’t up for a friendship right now.  If that’s the case, do you know Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson?  I know they are practically young enough for you to add them to your brood, but I thought I would ask.  You see, I have SO much in common with them…

Hope to hear from you soon good buddies, Mo

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